It was four feet long and glinted along the blade. a box of several hundred assorted knights and warriors a very large model castle with, as correctly interpreted, pointy blue cone roofs on turrets suitable for princesses to be locked in The Hogfather reached into his sack and produced YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAY THANK YOU.ĪND BE GOOD. Going Postal was on last week, but I didnt check if the Hogfather was on later that week. Last year (could have been the year before that), Im sure it was on the BBC.

‘I meant they thank the Hogfather,’ Albert hissed. Sadly not, sky have their own streaming service so they dont license their content to other platforms in the UK. ‘They’re supposed to thank you,’ he said.

‘A big swored?’ said the child, after a pause for deep cogitation. Anna big castle wif pointy bits,’ said the child. The child seemed to sense that here was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and spoke quickly. The Hogfather snapped his fingers impatiently. Mother took her economic cue again, and said briskly: ‘She wants a-‘ WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR HOGSWATCH? said the Hogfather hurriedly. ‘I saw your piggie do a wee!’ it said, and implicit in the tone was the suggestion that this was unlikely to be dethroned as the most enthralling thing the bobble hat had ever seen. The child looked down the length of its arms to the dangling mittens affixed to its sleeves. WHY ARE YOUR HANDS ON BITS OF STRING, CHILD? This time, though, it didn’t work like that.

And what do you say?’Īnd the stunned child would murmur “nk you’ and get given a balloon or an orange. ‘You want a Baby Tinkler Doll, don’t you, Doreen? And the Just Like Mummy Cookery Set you’ve got in the window. It was supposed to go like this: the child was always struck dumb and the attendant mother would lean forward and catch the Hogfather’s eye and say very pointedly, in that voice adults use when they’re conspiring against children: Mr Crumley knew how it was supposed to go. In front of - well, he had to think of it as the usurping Hogfather - was a small child of indeterminate sex who seemed to be mostly woollen bobble hat. AND WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR HOGSWATCH, SMALL HUMAN?

Hogfather bbc